A Parent's Blog About Parent Interests by our Tutoring Company

There are seemingly endless options for after-school activities that your children can get involved in, from soccer to swimming to piano lessons. But what do your children really get out of these activities? Here are some reasons why your kids should participate in extracurricular activities, beyond the standard ‘it looks good on a resume.’

Extracurricular activities can foster an open mind

Extracurriculars will give your children a chance to explore environments they may not encounter in school or at home. This may expose them to new ideas, interests, and opportunities, which is a great way to encourage their curiosity. Goodsschools.com specifically suggests volunteering and community service opportunities for students to “broaden their perspective of the world.”

The benefits of extracurricular activities include building relationships and connections for their future

After-school activities provide an opportunity for children and teens to spend time in a non-academic environment with people in their age group. This will allow them to build positive relationships in a fun and safe space with others who share a common interest. Some extracurricular activities for teens may even open the door later on to an employment opportunity, if they form positive connections and relationships with the organization.

Kids can strengthen interpersonal and work skills outside their familiar ‘zones’

Extracurricular activities for children not only allow them to experience new and fun things, they also help them build important life skills. For example, the relationships they build during these activities will teach them how to work with new people and how to work in a team. Eduflow also mentions time management, self-esteem, and organization as skills fostered in extracurricular activities that will be beneficial to kids in school and later in life in the workforce.

Outside-school activities teach kids to stay committed

Another important part of extracurricular activities for children and teens is the ability to keep a long-term commitment. If your 12-year-old is on a field hockey or rugby team, they will quickly learn that the rest of the team is depending on them to be there for practices and games throughout the season. As More 4 Kids says, “They commit themselves to that activity for a period of time. If they don’t hold up to their end of the deal, no doubt they’ll hear about it from their peers and perhaps even teachers.” An activity that requires this type of commitment will provide kids with a great learning experience to be responsible for the activities they have signed up for.

Need ideas for extracurricular activities? Here is a list to start you off!

If you need something new and exciting for your children to participate in, try looking into programs at your local recreation centre. You may be able to find an introductory program to a unique sport or activity you never would have encountered otherwise. Here are some ideas of activities to get you started:

• Rock climbing
• Rhythmic gymnastics
• Robotics club
• Irish dancing (or other cultural dancing)
• Cello lessons
• Water polo
• Volunteering at a local animal shelter

Extracurricular activities are a great way to bring balance to your child’s academic life and teach them many important skills during their formative years. Just make sure to not overdo it; one or two extracurriculars is plenty!

When you hear the word “competition,” your thoughts may run to images from your childhood, winning the first-place match in a soccer tournament. Oh the ‘high’ that gave you! Or the race for the highest GPA to become high school valedictorian. And you may also remember the embarrassment of failing at certain competitions. So, is competition at school healthy?

Today, the idea of ‘competition’ in our schools is much different (and the Internet seems to be complaining about it, correlating it with everything that’s wrong with so-called ‘millennials’). When comparing your own competition memories to your child’s current reality, you may glance over a shelf full of ‘participation’ trophies and wonder if the competitive activities from your childhood could still hold a place in your child’s life today.

Is it better to keep competition out of the way at school, so no one gets hurt? Or could competition be the key to unlocking even more of your child’s potential?

Below we’ll cover the pros and cons of encouraging competition in schools:

The Pros of Competition in Schools:

1. Motivation thrives in competitive situations

It’s probably every parent’s dream for their children to be motivated at school all the time. Competition at school can be a great way to motivate kids, by challenging them to put in their maximum effort.

2. Competition in schools leads to valuable skills

When children face competitive activities at school, they not only gain individual skills, like resilience and motivation, but they also build on important interpersonal skills. Competitive activities actually help students learn to let others have their turn, see things from others’ point of view, and build a strong character in spite of failure. These are skills that help prepare students for the workplace later in life. It also helps them succeed socially and academically in school.

3. Healthy competition boosts self-esteem and engagement

Positive, healthy competition at school will help build students up, and engage them as they discover new skills. Some signs of healthy competition include seeking opportunities to repeat the competition, developing new talents, desiring to improve, and experiencing higher self-esteem.

The Cons of Competition in Schools:

1. Stress often comes hand-in-hand with competition

Competition can easily lead to stress and anxiety, especially if it promotes academic competition between individual students. This stress can force students to push back other interests and extracurricular activities, leading to an unbalanced life.

2. Be prepared for disappointment

The emotional impact and confidence of your child can be negatively affected by a less-than-ideal outcome, which is one of the disadvantages of competition in learning process. Unless the objective is to ensure every child emerges victorious in every contest, there will inevitably be moments of disappointment when they don’t win. Undoubtedly, experiencing defeat is a challenging and difficult aspect of competition.

3. Unhealthy competition leads to lower engagement

If a competition does not provide kids with a goal that is attainable for everyone, the activity becomes unbalanced, with some jumping ahead and others ending up left in the dust. This is the kind of competition that will lead to anxiety and a diminished desire to participate in related activities. An unhealthy competition may be one that is focused on winning, says Jessica Velasco of howtolearn.com, instead of honing in on learning a new skill or working as a team. These are the competitions that you may want to think twice about before incorporating into your classroom!

Healthy Competition Is the Way To Go

Regardless of where you stand in your opinion of whether competition is healthy in schools, keep in mind there are many different forms of competition that can take place. Some are definitely more positive than others! Aim for competitive activities that involve setting attainable goals and encouraging teamwork. And of course, above all, keep students engaged and having fun.

Stay tuned for more specific tips on how to implement healthy competition in the classroom!

In our last article on this topic, we outlined some pros of joining a spelling bee. We covered the outcomes of English-speaking Canadian kids joining spelling bee contests in both Canada and the U.S.A.

And, like with all subjects on giving our kids the best education possible, there are many points to debate. In this article, we’ll cover the other side of the spelling bee argument – the cons.

The cons of spelling bee competitions

Regardless of country, opposition to English-language spelling bees can be summarized as the following arguments:

They challenge kids to learn words that they will never use again, and that have no meaning or prevalence outside of the spelling bee context

As this opinion column quotes, spelling bee competitions contain “Words known only to people with two Ph.D.’s. Words used only by extremely fanchonette academics and, of course, slobberhannes newspaper columnists who drop them into their prose for a lame joke.”

Pronouncing words can be based on accents, which makes spelling bees confusing

Pronunciation can throw off a contestant. Some words are pronounced based on accents from other languages. And sometimes, one region of a country pronounces a word differently than another region.

Spelling bees can put kids on the spot, and make failure a dooming experience

It’s true, spelling bees can embarrass kids who get the answers wrong, potentially. Though, this is contested (like all points in this article), as spelling bees are competition, like any other sport. Though, since the American Scripps National Spelling Bee is televised, that can make the fall harder to recover from.

Spelling bees don’t actually teach language skills, if that is their end goal

Literacy involves more than memorizing words, and takes actually reading and using words.

When it comes to Canadian kids and spelling bee contests, the choice is theirs, we say!

While we have identified pros and cons to spelling bee contests in Canada, in the end, it is the child who gets to decide whether they want to participate. Like any other passion or extracurricular activity, the spelling bee is just one of many to pick from. Some kids will like sports, some piano or guitar, and others will be obsessed with geography or space. We say, let them take their pick. Spelling bees are a great competitive activity that can benefit some. To others, the possibility of public failure, a learning disability, or some other setback may make spelling bees a horror to think about. And that’s ok! The choice is theirs, we say!

A spelling bee contest in Canada sounds like a lot of fun, doesn’t it? While we may have watched them in American TV shows, they do in fact happen across Canada, and Canadian kids attend these spelling competitions in the U.S. In case you didn’t know, Canada’s ‘big’ spelling bee competition is run by the 30-year-old, Toronto-based non-profit, Spelling Bee of Canada (and it has regional competitions too).

So what makes spelling bees fun in any country? Kids get to show off their ability to memorize the spelling of words, and achieve status at the end. Parents are proud, and popularity is won! Or is it that appealing? Some may argue that there are cons to spelling bee contests, just as there are pros. In this two-part article, we’ll debate the question of whether children should join a spelling bee contest.

The pros of Canadian kids joining a spelling bee competition

Of course, Canada bears two official languages: English and French (in addition to some unofficial First Nations languages, which we should also credit). We’ll be covering English spelling bees here.

They encourage vocabulary development in a language that demands memorization

English is a tough language. Vocabulary development takes practice, and memorization techniques.

See related: 4 interesting ways to encourage vocabulary development in young minds

English is not as orderly or sensical as other languages. It’s a mish-mash of words from different languages, and with different spellings that evolved over many years. That article posits the ‘illogical language’ fact as a con to learning. However, one could also argue that events like spelling bees are conducive to making word-learning a fun, challenging activity.

They open doors to better literacy skills and language enjoyment

Education.com published an article praising spelling bee contests for their ability to do more than encourage dull, meaningless remembrance of words. To quote their adequate statement from a Merriam-Webster editor and spelling bee judge:

The way the children learn the words is…through etymology and learning roots, pronunciations, and multiple definitions….Once children learn to break down words, they can decipher meanings of related words…and become better readers and writers overall…with better reading comprehension, comes greater literacy, and greater enjoyment of reading, literature and language.”

Spelling bees help some kids develop confidence and character

When the CBC reported on a 2016 spelling bee contest in B.C., the parent of the winner noted, rather wisely, the reason he got his child involved. To quote the article’s interview,

It is not just about spelling, it is about character building,” said Jas Bhatia. “How to be patient, wait for their turn and if they spell it wrong to cheer for their friends.”

Another participant’s parent said,

Competition of this nature is positive because it lets them explore more avenues of themselves and shows the result of that commitment.”

In the lead up to the 2017 national spelling bee contest in Toronto, the CBC also reported on parents and participant’s attitudes towards the benefits of spelling bees. One child was entered into the game to overcome stage fright, and to be able to learn to interact with peers. It worked! Reflecting on an 1988 competition, a winner testified that the experience helped build her confidence.

Plus, at least where U.S. spelling competitions are concerned, the prizes can be extensive for winners. This can show kids the result of dedication to perfecting a skill, and the rewards that could result.

They are helping to break down race barriers for Indians and South Asians

This point may be one that some can argue around. But it is notable, and noted by multiple journalists, that winners of spelling bees lately are dominantly from India or South Asia (or have that heritage as Canadians and Americans). The aforementioned CBC article stated that 14 of the past 18 winners in America were Indian. This author even compared the Indians’ skill in spelling to that of running talents among Ethiopians and Kenyans. So, could this be a way to let the South Asian community shine?

There is another side to spelling bee competitions!

Our Canadian kids may not all be suited for spelling bee contests, and parents and teachers may disagree with their existence altogether. Stay tuned for our next article in this series, outlining some cons of spelling bee competitions.

With early intervention and an increase in awareness about autism spectrum disorder, many children are being diagnosed as babies or in their toddler years. Since autism is typically discovered in early childhood, many parents don’t expect to have to look for signs as their child ages. Yet, sometimes signs of autism can go undiagnosed until your child is older and begins to experience some noticeable signs as well as learning difficulties. Below are five signs that your teen may have autism.

Withdrawal from social situations

One of the difficulties that people with autism may find hard to overcome is the ability to read other people’s’ signals and emotions. This may cause them to find it difficult to fit in or adjust to what is expected of their age. Because of this, they may often avoid engaging with students their age for fear of being bullied or ridiculed. While teens may withdraw from peers for a variety of reasons, an avoidance of social interaction should be looked into.

More literal interpretations

Teens and adults with autism spectrum disorder are known to have trouble interpreting metaphorical speech, or ‘street talk.’ They can often take phrases literally. So, watch out if your Autistic teens has difficulty understanding sarcasm or idioms. This may be due to communication issues that stem from being more comfortable with structure and ‘exactness.’

Difficulty with complicated or multi-step directions

Teens with autism spectrum disorder may suffer from ADD or ADHD. They may have a hard time staying focused through longer, or multiple instructions. Typically focus can be held for two-step directions. But more than that may cause them to withdraw, or move onto something else.

Showing symptoms of mental health disorders

People with autism spectrum disorder have a higher rate of other psychiatric disorders. The most common psychiatric disorders associated with autism are anxiety, ADHD, depression, bipolar disorder, OCD, and schizophrenia. Teens with autism can be particularly affected by anxiety disorders, especially when they are in social settings.

Having difficulty with school curriculum

As teens enter into high school, curriculum tends to become more difficult. Teens with autism may begin to exhibit learning disabilities as the curriculum becomes more demanding. However, teens with higher functioning autism often have average, to above-average IQs.

If your teen is exhibiting signs of autism spectrum disorder, it is important to have them properly diagnosed. Intervention as early as possible is important to help your teen to be successful at school, as well as in their life outside of school.

In follow up to our article on ‘What is social competence in teens? Why is it important?’, we thought it would be important to delve into the practical matter of being able to teach social competence to teens. It’s one thing to know you need it, it’s another to learn how to get it.

If your child’s ability to make friends has become a concern, it may be wise not to ignore your ‘gut’ when it comes to teaching social skills, or encouraging them in your child.

In our last article on this topic (see link above), we mentioned that popularity may be related to higher levels of social competence. We also learned that the better social life a child or teen has, the more likely they are to form healthy relationships as adults, and avoid mental health issues they may be predisposed to.

So how do we balance out the extremes of social skills in teens? How do we ‘level the playing field,’ so that all kids have the chance to make friends and, eventually, become well-functioning citizens of society?

According to this extensive article, kids and teens need to be taught social competence. And it doesn’t stop there; they need to practice it, just like any other learned skill that becomes habit. (We realize the design of the aforementioned article looks questionable and abandoned, but its content seems worthy of note for consideration).

Below we will discuss some strategies for teaching social competence in teens.

Get kids involved in sports or games to promote social competence

According to this article, playing sports – you guessed it – builds good “sportsmanship.” It makes sense. In sports kids learn how to follow rules, how to be fair, and how to limit their actions to the rules of the game. They also learn how to work in teams, and how to respect opponents (or at least, we would hope that is the case with the coach in charge).

This can happen with other games too, especially when multiple players are involved. Board games, for instance, can help with this skill as well.

Many times, this may involve a parent engaging their child in extracurricular activities outside school.

Teach lessons on diversity in the classroom, or advocate for them at your local school

If your child’s classroom teacher is not doing so already, you can ask them to teach diversity. This is especially beneficial if differences are becoming a problem in the school’s social environment. Becoming accepting of those who are different than you is a skill in empathy, and a way to promote inclusion for better social experiences.

We wrote some articles all about this:

• 3 Ways to manage diversity in the classroom
• 5 great activities to teach kids about multiculturalism in the classroom

Read books and use educational material dedicated to the topic of social skills training in adolescents

Sometimes, social skills need to be taught very literally. What may seem obvious to some (like saying “please” and “thank you”), won’t be obvious to others. There are materials out there that you can use to teach social skills to adolescents. Here are some we found:

On teaching empathy:

https://www.edutopia.org/pdfs/blogs/edutopia-taran-lesson7empathy.pdf

http://www.teachthought.com/pedagogy/quick-guide-teaching-empathy-classroom/

On helping kids form friendships:

https://www.education.com/reference/article/children-develop-social-competence/

Posters and classroom material (or consider making these yourself with the class):

Kids’ books on ‘Social Thinking:

https://www.socialthinking.com/Products

https://www.freespirit.com/gifted-and-special-education/survival-guide-for-kids-with-behavior-challenges-thomas-mcintyre/#

Group activities to promote social skills training (linked to above also):

http://www.behavioradvisor.com/SocialSkills.html (scroll to find these)

Plus you’ll also want to read up on the more research-based information on this topic, which is provided online by organizations such as this one:

http://www.casel.org/library-search/?type=Book

This will equip you, as the teacher, to know what you are aiming for, and when the desired outcomes are achieved.

Set a good example, by forming adult-like social competence

You may not enjoy hearing this, but if your child is suffering from a lack of social competence, it may have to do with what is happening in their home environment. The articles we’ve linked to in this article, and our former one on this topic, mention that aggression can be ‘learned’ from parents. How a child is raised can affect their behaviour.

And, it also appears that less-strict parents may produce kids with more social competence. However, as this article points out, balance is needed with any parenting, and social context could make a difference in outcomes.

Seek professional help for social skills training

If your child or teen is showing signs of problematic behaviour, it may be wise to consult a professional, as we mentioned in our last article on social competence. There are family therapists, for instance, who can help with individual children, parenting advice or otherwise. A doctor may also be able to help you assess potential neurodiverse conditions that could explain outlandish, unexpected and impulsive behaviours.

Don’t give up on social competence training!

Remember that learning social queues comes with time. You may realize that even as an adult, you are still learning about behaviours that were probably a mistake, and that you won’t want to repeat in your future relationships. Kids and teens are learning too. They are forming identities and realizing who they are. So, if your teen hasn’t transformed their personality overnight, remember that this may be a slow process. It may take some life lessons to fully form a mature adult out of them.

That said, don’t give up on the resources and tools you can use to teach these skills early in life. You may save your child a lot of frustrations by helping them learn from your wisdom!